hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
BRING THE BAGELS
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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