Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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