I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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