Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will pee on everything he values.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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