If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
