Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
