I just pynch a tree in the face
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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