yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
