and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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