He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
