I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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