Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
