He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
