hotel room ftw
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
