She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
