The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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