Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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