Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
