I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
