i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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