Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
