Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
