That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
