he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
