what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
