Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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