Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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