i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
