i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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