Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
