Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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