the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
