I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
