did you get engaged???
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
