Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
