got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
