im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
