So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
