i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
