Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
