can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
