I just saw a hot homeless man
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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