Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize