I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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