I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
