small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
