is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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