now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
