Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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