She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
