and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize