Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize