he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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