I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
