I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
