We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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