my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He? As in you personified your dick?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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