I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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