this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
