hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
