he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
