WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
