You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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