omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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