She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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