There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my liver is dry heaving
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
