He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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