I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
