I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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