Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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