That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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