I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
