The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize