I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
