All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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